Where's The Coconut Gun?
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: Donkey Kong loses his prized possession, the legendary coconut gun, and promptly goes insane. Some of his Smashing friends have to now help him calm down, but being a gorilla, he is stubborn. Can the mansion find peace?
1. Chapter 1

Things seem to be always crazy when it came to the Super Smash Brothers. Whether it involved actual battles on the many various battlefields, or the many internal conflicts in the Super Smash Mansion, of which itself always was shifting its location. And sometimes, it wasn't even a mansion at all!

So what was the overall point to this whole exposition? _Because Donkey Kong's coconut gun has been stolen._

"ARGH!" Donkey Kong exclaimed as he chucked wooden barrels and crates all over the hallway, hitting the various characters running away as they tried to not get hit. "Where's my prized coconut gun!?"

"DK, calm down!" Diddy Kong exclaimed as he tried to calm down his uncle. "It's just a gun! A really cool gun!"

Donkey Kong grabbed a nearby hummer and smacked Diddy with it, knocking the small monkey out with ease. Donkey Kong then pounded his chest as he broke through the wall leading into his room, breaking through the walls as he rushed through each and every room in the hallway, destroying it as he was determined to find his coconut gun. Princess Zelda turned into Shrek, rushing towards Donkey Kong, but he managed to punch him in the face with a strong, charged up punch, causing Shrek to turn back into Zelda. Silver The Hedgehog and Jigglypuff glanced at each other as they didn't know what to do.

"Should we stop him?" Silver asked as he pointed at Donkey Kong, who grabbed Zero Suit Samus and began slapping her repeatedly. "He's making a mess of everything..."

Jigglypuff smirked as she lowered her eyes, shaking her head, which was basically her entire body. "No. I'm enjoying this."

"...You are a strange little puffball." Silver stated, to see Princess Peach Toadstool farting her way towards Donkey Kong by performing her instant Peach Bomber.

But Donkey Kong didn't give a shit. Feeling his dong expand, Donkey Kong performed a down smash on Peach, breaking her bones with ease as Shiek ran towards him, but Donkey Kong grabbed a smart bomb and chucked it at Shiek, causing it to explode as part of the ceiling collapsed, but it not affecting Donkey Kong as he was fueled with rage, pounding his chest as he continued causing havoc in the mansion.

The mansion itself incidentally being at the Jungle Japes on Donkey Kong Island. But what significance did that have? The evil, devious Dark Pit, ever taking the advantage of being a prick, laughed as he was on the top of Cranky Kong's wooden hut, having the coconut gun in his hands.

"He he he... that dumb fat ape doesn't even have a clue that I took his dumb old gun," Dark Pit remarked as he smirked, rubbing the coconut gun as he licked his lips. "Oh, this baby is definitely gonna cum in spurts when I'm through with it..."

"Get off of my hut, you shitty pallet swap dork!" Cranky Kong exclaimed as he chucked his cane at Dark Pit.

Narrowing his eyes, Dark Pit fired a couple of brown coconuts at Cranky, knocking the old ape off the cottage and into the rapid waters below as he laughed, proceeding to rush into the cabin and wrecking the interior as he was set on being the meanest Smasher of them all.


	2. Chapter 2

Dark Pit was in Cranky Kong's hut in the Jungle Japes as Donkey Kong suddenly ripped off the wooden rooftop, gritting his teeth angrily.

"_You!_" Donkey Kong stated as he clenched his fists. "I should have guessed it immediately! You're the jackass who stole my Coconut Gun!"

Dark Pit let out a squeaky fart in fright as his eyes widened. "H-how did you find me?"

* * *

><p><em>Earlier...<em>

"C-calm down, DK!" Silver stated as he was chucked into the pool by Donkey Kong, who continued to destroy everything in his path.

"No! Not until I get back my Coconut Gun!" Donkey Kong exclaimed, turning around to see Zelda dashing at him again, with the Hyrulian princess transforming into Shaq as he then performed his Shaq Fu skills on Donkey Kong, who was knocked into a vase.

"Oh... _it's no use..._" Silver mumbled as he resurfaced from the pool, his fur completely soaked.

Donkey Kong broke the vase into pieces due to his sheer size, bellowing as he grabbed Shaq and chucked him through a basketball hoop, getting a goal as he then grabbed a Super Scope and began firing at everything, causing the entire room to catch on fire.

"Wait! Stop!" Fire Emblem's Roy exclaimed as he dashed down the hallway, the human, fire obsessed red haired swordsman holding Donkey Kong back as he panted. "I know... who took your Coconut Gun!"

"You do!? Really!?" Donkey Kong gasped as he chucked aside the Super Scope, placing both of his hands on Roy. "Tell me, immediately!"

"I think Pit's recolor took it. He said something about wanting to be a bastard!" Roy pinpointed out as he pointed at the ceiling.

* * *

><p><em>Even earlier...<em>

"I feel like being a bastard today!" Dark Pit exclaimed as he was punching a punching bag with Pit's face on it, turning to Roy. "Who should I mess with?"

Roy shrugged as he was reading a woman's magazine for swimsuits. "Beats me. Maybe you should try one of the animal Smashers. They don't seem to care much."

"Perfect... I'll go and make a donkey out of that idiot ape Donkey Kong!" Dark Pit cackled as he dashed out of the room, with Roy shrugging as he kept on reading his magazine, glancing up to see Popo, the male blue Ice Climber staring at him.

"Can I look at that after you're done?" Popo asked as he blushed, touching his fingertips together as Roy squinted his eyes, being unsure.


End file.
